Testimonies

The testimonies of our happy, happy followers.

“I saw a brand-new Lexus on the Church of the Divine Lucre’s television broadcast, Money Cometh!. I thought, ‘I’m gonna have one of those, in Jesus’ name!’ So I triple-mortgaged my house, sold all my RRSPs, sent my sons to work in the local coal mine, and pimped my wife and daughters out of our guest suite. Then I tithed my ten percent to the Church of the Divine Lucre, sent a generous Love Offering to Pastor Love, and had just enough left over to buy me that Lexus. Praise God!”

—S. Peters

“I am a third-generation welfare recipient with severe learning disabilities and five children. When I heard Pastor Love on the radio saying that I could be rich, I was skeptical. But I cashed in my welfare cheques for three months in a row and sent the whole works to the Church of the Divine Lucre.

Now that my children have starved to death, and I was evicted from my apartment for not paying my rent, I have way more money left over each month than I ever thought possible! If I keep sending my welfare money to Pastor Love each month, I know I’m going to reap a huge harvest! Hallelujah!”

—R. Schrœder

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